$ - Fast Food
April 10th, 2007 at 11:25pm
Under $$$ - Casual Dining+ $$$$ - Fine Dining+ $$ - Good Eats+ $ - Fast Food+ $$$$$ - Ridic Dining
While I love eating a great many places, very few elicit the title of perpetual favorites. Portillos is one of those places. I really have been dreading this write-up just for fear of not doing justice to the sacred walls of this glorious establishment.
I first came to terms with my problem when during my freshman year of college at the University of Wisconsin, I received for my birthday not one but two entire cakes of chocolaty heaven. Other people had clearly been introduced to my inner fat guy. I am not a religious man, but if I were, this cake would vie for the position of my deity. While a single entire cake is indeed gluttonous and possessing two at the same time approaches extreme levels even I quiver at the thought of, even the single slices served at the restaurant can put everything that is good in the world within reach of your fork.
I knew that this piece would inevitably digress into a love note to mi amor chocolate cake but I promised myself that I would fight to keep it on track. With that in mind I would like to get into some of Portillos’ other offerings.
The most astonishing thing about this spot is that while everyone loves it, each has his or her own reasons. While conversations with Coldstone lovers are always going to get back to cake batter ice cream, conversations with Portillos lovers are unscripted and spontaneous.
Following the obligatory affirmation that he is in fact a fan, the portillos lover will follow with an utterly unpredictable reasoning. “The Italian beef makes my heart sing.” “The grilled chicken sandwich is better than watching dragonflies fuck.” “The chili dog is more soothing than diarrhea when you’re constipated.” The list goes on. I have never heard of a spot where nearly every menu item is at the top of someone’s list. How can everything be so damn good?
Personally, I have experienced periods in my love for Portillos, much more akin to those that Picasso experienced than those which visit chics monthly. I began young and innocent with my cheese dog period, before exploring my slightly deeper cheeseburger side. The cheese fries were a comforting constant, a shoulder to lean on if you will, through this otherwise tumultuous period.
I then grew slightly more health conscious and my palette expanded forcing me into a long, drawn out grilled chicken sandwich period. The flavors that result as the mayonnaise plays on the seasonings of the perfectly grilled breast are nothing short of beautiful when combined on such a soft but substantial bun. Lately my emotions have been getting the best of my health conscious mind and I have been falling into the darkness that is the chili dog. While the chili is not all that noteworthy, I can’t help but love the experience.
If I die of heart disease, there is almost no doubt that my drawn out romance with Portillos played some part, but that is ok because everyone knows that in heaven, food orders are hastily scribbled on the backs of red and white striped paper bags.
By admin
April 6th, 2007 at 06:28pm
Under $ - Fast Food
If, like kustys so often do when facing difficult decisions, I were forced to list the pros and cons of my friends becoming slaves to the system and getting full time jobs, there may be but one pro: discovering glorious new food spots near their offices. (I suppose getting introduced to random dimes they work with would probably make the list as well but that’s neither here nor there.)
One such place that I learned of while meeting some friends for lunch was Go Roma. This small chain mimics the dining style made popular by spots like Noodles – order at a register, food delivered to table, they clean up, no tipping, etc. It is a pretty enjoyable way to dine in my opinion. No waiting on waiters, food served fast, no tipping, not a bad deal.
The difference between Go Roma and other similar establishments is the quality of the food. The menu is extensive and diverse for such a low priced, fast spot. My favorite menu item is the Goat Cheese, Sundried Tomatoes, and Spinach Pizza. Coming in under $10, the half plank pizza is a very respectable amount of food. While the spectacular flavors leave you wanting more, the substantial size leaves you dreading your next deuce. Goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes really are a match made in heaven and while a common sight on higher priced menus, I respect a place that serves such a pizza at fast food prices in fast food time.
As I said, the menu is extensive so if goat cheese and sun dried t’s aren’t your style, I’m sure you will find something that is, be it one of their other great pizzas, pasta dishes that appear to rival spots twice as expensive, or salads.
I really don’t think I could say much bad about this spot, if you’re short on time and respect flavor Go Roma is calling your name.
To get through your hangover this weekend, you can look forward to a huge article of epic proportions next week. The fear of not doing justice to this historic spot has actually made me nervous to write it the way you get nervous when your friends talk about doing stupid whatnot like getting married. Or something like that.
By admin
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:44pm
Under $ - Fast Food
Indisputably overrated. I would love to hear an argument against this proclamation. The definition of the type of skuzzy spot people talk about to sound cool. Little do they know all the true heads are laughing in their general direction.
I know where you are going to go with this too. “I just don’t get it.” No, I really do trust me - and more than that I really wanted to like this place to satisfy my dreams of being a d-bag who talks about it anytime people bring up Chicago dining so that people know just how hard I rep. However, all my hopes and dreams came crashing to the ground with a small serving of fries.
How is a spot so desperate to be the sneaky good spot amongst all the other rubble going to mess up cheese fries so much? How is a spot that only serves hot dogs and fries going to piss on the entire faith of cheese fry lovers everywhere? I blame it on the cluckboxes who permanently smudge their culinary opinion records by deeming wein circle an institution of any sort.
For those of you lucky enough to have abstained long enough to read this life changing glimpse into the utter overratedness that is wein circle, let me give you a brief description of these despicable cheese fries.
While quality cheese fries ala those offered by the likes of gods in the game like Portillos feature smooth, creamy cheese that beautifully envelopes the fries before satisfying your every desire, Weiner Circle uses straight cheddar that crustifies the fries before the sweet aroma can even reach your nose. My mom makes better cheese fries.
If this article can save one soul from a wasted meal at Weiner Circle, I will feel I succeeded. I hope that everyone will continue the search to find a spectacular diamond in the ruff much like Wein Circle dreams of being. However, you can be a diamond in the rough when every cluckstick in town not only knows about you but stupidly touts your grub.
By admin
April 2nd, 2007 at 08:03pm
Under $ - Fast Food
No, I’m really not kidding. I have a theory that all the hate that exists for this fine establishment originated in the days of old and people have not fairly readjusted their views. I might even throw Taco Bell’s menu on a list of most improved over the past 5 years. Everytime I look up there are new items and it seems they are all straight gold.
Unfortunately, I no longer live in the near vicinity of this glorious spot, but recently I found myself once again entering the storied walls. It was a stirring experience bringing back memories of first jobs and glorious meals alike. While old favorites like chili cheese burritos, soft tacos, and gorditas still grace the menu, my focus these days tends to be on the newer items.
The flagship of the new menu in my mind is the Frisbee-esque Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme. I originally ordered this little island of paradise as something of a joke after seeing the ubiquitous commercials and was absolutely blown away. The gold lies in the warm bottom where the spicy chicken mixes with the spice elicited by the nacho cheese and the result is a warm burst of flavor that will excite any palette. This warm spice is balanced with a light, fresh finish from the sour cream, lettuce, and tomatoes residing at the top of the Frisbee. I feel this is a must hit item for any self respecting foodie. And yes, you can only get it at Taco Bell.
My second go-to item takes the form of the Chicken Grilled Stuft Burrito. This is a heavy item, so bring your appetite, but that is exactly why it is appealing. For someone with an inner fat dude trying to escape like myself, I need something that is going to fill me up. The Grilled Stuft Burrito is willing to be that food. Don’t think this order is merely about size though. The Grilled Stuft Burrito brings the flavor with marinated chicken, tomatoes, and rice.
I have to admit this is the most my mouth has watered writing any of these reviews. So for those of you who have written off taco bell due to the restaurant it once was, I encourage you to reconsider. If you make it there as infrequently as I do, you can count on new items lighting up the menu on each visit. And I’d be willing to bet, they are mad good.
By admin
